Racism, Hate, and My Toddler.

Hello, everyone.

I remember being a kid in my grandma’s house having a conversation with my daddy. He was doing his best to help me see that the world was a tough place. He wanted me to be prepared to stand on my own two feet. I remember not getting it and wondering why we couldn’t just be nice to other’s regardless of the way that they treated us. I remember asking him why we couldn’t just believe the best in others. I also remember how aggravated he became with me. How he said he gave up and said that one day I would be faced with a situation where all that peaceful talk would go out of the window.

That was many years ago and I have been through quite a few things. I have experienced some unthinkable acts at the hands of “loved ones”. I can’t say that the idea of a peaceful world has remained but I believe that those around me would say that I am a peaceful person. I don’t stir up trouble. You won’t find me in the midst of fights and mess. (I am not judging you if that is your thing. It just isn’t for me). With all that said, I have learned that it is harder to be peaceful when someone messes with my daughter.

{I am sharing all of this to show that I have weaknesses and that God is still working on me. I am going to share two incidents that have challenged that peaceful side.}

The first incident happened a few weeks back when my daughter was playing at the park. We arrived and she was running and having a good time. A little while into playing a sweet little girl named Lilly came up to her and began to play with her. She was so nice and didn’t mind that Abriyannah was only two years old. She talked with Abriyannah and I about school and all kinds of fun things going on in her life. All of a sudden, I hear someone yell, “Lilly, come here right now!” I look to see what was wrong. The lady was an older lady and she looked terrified. She said, “Lilly, come here! You come here right now, quickly!”  Lilly headed over toward her all while telling her about her new friend Abriyannah and how they were playing a game. Once Lilly reaches her, she looks at her and then she says, “Lilly, we don’t play with those people”. It knocked the breath out of me. I couldn’t believe this was happening. At this point, my daughter is trying to get away from me so she can say goodbye to her new friend. I told Abriyannah that her friend had to go, but we will continue to play. She cried at first because she couldn’t say goodbye but soon was better and continued playing.

The second incident happened today (5/21), and I am intentionally keeping it short because I am still heavily emotional about it. I have an elderly neighbor who loves to tell us her opinions and treat them as facts. We naturally do a very good job of staying to ourselves. We don’t keep a lot of company. I consider us to be peaceful, chill neighbors that stay out of everyone’s business. This evening, I took my daughter out to play and my neighbor was out there with other neighbors, their kids, and pets. As soon as I got outside, she told me that my daughter needs to be outside to run and get her energy out. I agreed and proceeded to play with my daughter. She continued to go on and on about how my daughter has too much energy and how she is a problem and people need to “do something about that kid”. Fast forward, she later spoke to my husband and told him that our daughter was stupid.

Deep Sigh!

I say all of this because it saddens me because she is at an age where she doesn’t know that people are being mean to her. She doesn’t know that racism exists and one day she will. She will come home from school and tell me that someone said something upsetting about her. She will cry and ask me if it is true. She will want to know why people are cruel and why anyone wouldn’t want to play with her because of the color of her skin. I wonder if I will have the words needed to convince her that she is more than enough. I wonder if I could hold in the tears and be able to reassure her that she doesn’t need to change for anyone. That her curly fro is beautiful!  That her smile is the best! I wonder if I would be a good example to her in those times.

I am beginning to see that this hurting world is something that I can’t completely protect her from. I know that I will not always know what to say but as long as I have breath in my body she won’t have to go through this life alone.

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**Thanks for reading this post! This is hard to share because I am being so vulnerable. The comment section could fill up with hate. But who knows? Maybe this post helped a mom with the same concerns realize they aren’t the only one.**

God bless you,

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4 thoughts on “Racism, Hate, and My Toddler.

  1. This made me want to cry. I’m an adult and I still don’t really understand why someone would behave that way towards children. It’s a sad reality that racism and other forms of human cruelty still exist in this world and maybe will never completely go away but I hope that as more of us have learned to know better, we will model the better side of humanity for our children.

    1. Hello NaturallyIndependent! First of all, thank you so much for taking out time to read and leave a comment. It certainly is a sad reality but I am like you. I am believing that I can model better for her and other children that I come in contact with. Maybe with enough people doing the same things will get much better. Stay blessed and stop by the blog any time!

  2. I feel so angry for you in those situations (not AT you, but angry that you had to go through that). I’m Asian and I find that I too experience racism, though not so much my son (because he looks relatively western). Once we were in Singapore and I was out with a girlfriend of mine and my husband (both are caucasian) and I was pushing the pram. And we went to a couple of places and people were talking to my husband and friend, but nobody even looked at me. After some thought, I realise they thought I was the maid a.k.a. home helper! I also get comments once in a while like “Do you know English?” or “Is that really your child?” which just really infuriate me – English is my first language!! Anyway while the world can be a weird and sometimes frustrating place, I do my best to find the good in things and to remind my kids to be loving and open to everyone regardless of race and religion.

    1. Hello, Lianne, thank you so much for sharing your experiences! It is sad that people have to go through such things due to the ignorance of others. It is especially hard to stay positive and in search of the good in this world while going through those things. I applaud you for doing so anyway! I think it is an awesome thing that you did not let those unfortunate experiences keep you from loving and that you’re teaching your children to do the same. I too am trying to stay focused and actively seek out that which is good. I truly want to continue to move forward with love and teach Abriyannah to do so as well. It is an ongoing process but I am hopeful. God bless you, Lianne! Please drop by my blog anytime. I will do the same for you.

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