It has been a little while and I have been missing my blog lately, so here I am. My three-year-old is more independent these days, and that allows me to take a handful of minutes for myself.
It has been three years now and I am by no means an expert. All that I now know has been through much trial and error. In this post, I am going to share four lessons that I personally have learned and/or am still in the process of learning from being a mom.
- Mommy guilt is real, but it doesn’t have to linger. There have been days when, no matter how hard I tried, nothing seemed to go as planned. Like the times when I wake up extra early to get us ready in time for an appointment but somehow I find us still rushing. Or times where I may have been too lenient and other times when I may have been too harsh. With times like those and more, I quickly began to feel the mommy guilt taking over. I am learning to push the pause button on that guilt by reminding myself of God’s word. My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). He gives strength to the weary, And to him who lacks might He increases power (Isaiah 40:29). God didn’t make me a mother because I reached perfection nor is He going to be a deadbeat Father and abandon me. I will make mistakes but I can rely on God’s grace to see me through. I am learning to do the best that I can, rely on God, and apologize to my daughter when my best isn’t the best.
- Mommy Judging. Since the day that my daughter entered into the world, I found myself looking to other mothers. Thoughts of “How did they do this?” and “How was that done?” came to mind. Unfortunately, that turned into thoughts like, “I can do better than that!” or “I can’t believe I still don’t know how to do that!” The lesson that I had to learn was to not look around at other moms nor to rely on myself. It is a process but I have found it is so much easier to relax when I am relying on God to guide me. “Direct my footsteps according to your word; let no sin rule over me” (Psalm 119:133).
- Thanks, but no thanks. When I was pregnant people would hand out advice whether it was asked for on not. For example: what to wear, what to eat, and what to prepare for. One example would be a customer at work saying ,”that shirt is too tight for you! You need to put that away until after you have that baby.” (I mean I was pregnant but I still could feel if I was comfortable or not in my clothes). As a first-time mom-to-be, advice was often appreciated but there were times when it was overwhelming. Even as a mother, I occasionally receive the “You better get her. Don’t let her get away with that!” -or the opposite- “hey, she is just being a kid. Let her be.” I am learning to say, “thanks, but no thanks“. As a parent, I take motherhood seriously. I don’t know everything and I do appreciate other points of view, but I have learned that I don’t have to take everyone’s advice.The Bible states, ” I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you” (Psalm 32:8). **NOTE: I am not against getting help from other’s nor am I against taking advice. I only mean to say that when I make a decision as a parent I am learning not to be so easily persuaded. I am learning to trust my gut.**
- I must spend daily time with God. At first, I had this silly notion that I needed only to pour myself into my marriage and motherhood to be fulfilled. (I know, What a great Christian, Dri?!) I did just that and very quickly I found myself exhausted and frustrated. As a mom, at least for myself, that Me Time doesn’t happen all too often. She doesn’t go to daycare and I don’t consider work: taking care of customers, taking out the trash, and sometimes forcing a smile while being fussed at ME Time. I have discovered that Me Time is much easier when I plan for it. Although this doesn’t always work because you can’t always plan for the unexpected nighttime temper tantrums or the spontaneous “mommy, I need you” moments, but planning definitely makes it much more likely to happen. My idea of Me Time is time spent with God. I find that this best works when everyone else is sleeping. This can take place first thing in the morning or sometimes before I go to bed. You may be thinking “what about sleep? You need it to have the energy needed to keep up with your toddler, don’t you?” I have found that my mind wanders less when I spend time with God before bed. It is also true that I am less stressed and ready to face the day when I make time first thing in the morning. And just in case you are wondering I don’t do both back to back. I didn’t figure this technique out on my own. I discovered this by studying the actions of Jesus himself. Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed (Mark 1:35). After sending them home, he went up into the hills by himself to pray. Night fell while he was there alone (Matthew 14:23). It is easy to do when it is important to you. You find that you aren’t finding the time for God you are making time for Him.
I hope that you have found this helpful. Tag You’re It! What are some lessons that you have learned as a parent? I enjoy reading about another’s journey, so if you’ve made a post feel free to link it in the comment section, or simply just share your thoughts. I hope that we can start a discussion that way we all may be able to learn even more lessons. Also, If you would be interested in hearing some of the ways that I spend time with God let me know. I am still learning what my readers are looking for. If you have any suggestions feel free to share those as well.
As always thank you for stopping by!